Eating, Not Walking

Strange phenomenon to have to leave your house, get in a car, drive to a restaurant, circle for parking, eat, and then get back in your car, and drive home to sit down once again. Strange as it's so unnatural--and poor for digestion and your overall experience of life.

finding myself circling this rainy city in between procrastinations, I stop for a mid afternoon meal, in a strip mall on the very north side. stepping out of the car there was a used rolled up diaper discarded in the parking lot. with no sidewalk leading up to the restaurant, or garbage cans, just road and parking, I splashed my way inside, ate an unappealing meal that was lukewarm, while staring into another strip mall across the street, got back into my car next to the used diaper, and drove home, thinking all the while about the lack of confidence this seems to emanate. no pride or value put into place, how else are we going to connect and relate but through disregard?

Looking out my window, just north of 118 Avenue, I see people walking by, most often if not always, looking straight down at the broken ground before them. No one is looking up, looking around, seeing if there is anything worth seeing. I am still foolish enough to be looking around, trying to see what I want to see, instead of what's simply there.